Isaiah Rashad Explores Identity and Redemption on 'It's Been Awful'

Key facts

• Isaiah Rashad released his new album, 'It's Been Awful', on May 1st.
• The album follows his 2021 release, 'The House is Burning'.
• Rashad has publicly discussed struggles with drugs, alcohol, and a non-consensual sex tape leak.
• He has also grappled with his sexuality, identifying as bisexual.
• Producers Keem the Cipher (KTC) and Julian Sintonia helmed much of the album's soundscape.
• Rashad previously detailed substance abuse and depression on his 2016 album, 'The Sun's Tirade'.

A Harrowing Journey into Self

Isaiah Rashad’s latest offering, 'It's Been Awful', arrives not as a triumphant declaration but as a raw, unflinching examination of a life lived through profound upheaval. Released on May 1st, the album marks a significant evolution from his previous work, delving into the excruciating process of confronting oneself without evasion. Where 'The House is Burning' captured the nascent joy of reclaiming life after years of disassociation, 'It's Been Awful' plunges into the difficult reality of living with eyes wide open, a state marked by ruthless self-evaluation. This new collection of songs navigates shame, self-loathing, confusion, and persistent suffering. Rashad, often more impressionistic than linear in his storytelling, coalesces these tales of struggle into a complex thesis: he exists as a paradox, both dead and alive, a perpetual mess of contradictions. The levity and warmth he once rendered even harrowing scenes with are now tempered by a deeper, more somber introspection, reflecting a man who has faced his demons and is still wrestling with their aftermath. The album arrives five years after 'The House is Burning', a period marked by significant personal challenges. Rashad detailed his experiences with substance abuse and depression on his 2016 album, 'The Sun's Tirade', but the intervening years saw him disappear from public view, hitting further rock bottoms before emerging, mostly sober, and creating some of the most potent music of his career.

Navigating Identity and Insecurity

A pivotal element explored throughout 'It's Been Awful' is Rashad's candid grappling with his sexuality, particularly in the wake of a non-consensual sex tape leak. This public exposure forced a premature confrontation with aspects of his identity he was still processing privately. The experience exacerbated his ongoing struggles with drugs and alcohol, while simultaneously compelling him to reconcile his sense of self as a bisexual Black man. Speaking on the matter, Rashad stated that there is no established manual for navigating such a complex identity. This period of intense personal turmoil, he admitted, led to a deeper understanding of himself. He expressed a belief in a guiding spiritual force, a sentiment rooted in his church upbringing, though he no longer feels compelled to attend services. His motivation, he clarified, is not solely financial; he aims to effect change through his art. The rapper also reflected on the liberation that followed the cruel exposure. He described feeling simultaneously broken and free, an acceptance that stemmed from relinquishing control over public perception. This allowed him to confront insecurities that previously manifested in his commentary on women and his general expressions of masculinity. He acknowledged that much of his past behavior was rooted in insecurity, and that he has since cultivated a greater degree of self-love.

A Soundscape of Contemplation

Musically, 'It's Been Awful' largely eschews the immediate energy of trap drums, favoring a patient, shuffling pace with contemplative tempos and muted textures. This sonic landscape provides a fitting backdrop for Rashad's introspective rumination. Producers Keem the Cipher (KTC) and Julian Sintonia are credited with shaping much of the album's hazy, sample-driven sound, characterized by pitched-down percussion, syrupy rhythms, warm electric piano, and brass. Rashad has always demonstrated an affinity for R&B production, with collaborations with SZA being a notable highlight of his past work. This album continues that tradition, featuring tracks like “Boy in Red” which reaffirms the chemistry between the two artists. Other songs, such as “Supaficial” and “GTKY,” showcase some of the smoothest hooks he has ever sung, demonstrating his continued vocal prowess. While the vibey, occasionally anesthetized sound can sometimes verge on feeling flat or mushy, Rashad's nimble flows and sharp songwriting consistently anchor the album. His lyrical dexterity and keen observational skills keep the project focused, even when the thematic and sonic weight feels as demanding as traversing a desert in a weighted vest. The album’s primary themes of addiction and family strife are interwoven with these explorations of his sexuality, creating a rich tapestry of vulnerability.

Redemption and Resilience

The narrative arc of 'It's Been Awful' suggests a profound sense of resilience. Lines like “The cut was something severe, but we endured,” from the track “Nuthin 2 Hide,” are delivered with a croak that almost sounds like a boast, a testament to survival against considerable odds. The album captures the excruciating process of living with one's eyes wide open, a state that demands an unwavering gaze into the mirror. Rashad's journey has been one of confronting the past, acknowledging past mistakes, and seeking a path toward redemption. The album’s title itself, 'It's Been Awful', serves as a stark acknowledgement of the difficult period he has navigated. Yet, within this admission lies a quiet strength, a recognition that enduring such hardship has led to personal growth and a deeper understanding of self. While Rashad may not have achieved the global superstardom once predicted for him by some early in his career, he has cultivated something arguably more compelling: an artist guided by intuition, unafraid to explore the complexities of his inner life. For someone who has faced mortality and emerged, the pursuit of fame appears secondary to the urgent task of understanding and reconciling with his past.

Honesty with Oneself and Others

The introspection fostered by his experiences has led to a more honest relationship not only with himself but also with his closest friends and family. Rashad recounted conversations with his 'homeboys' who expressed concern over his actions, prompting him to re-evaluate his behavior. This openness extended to sharing the entirety of his struggles with them, solidifying a bond built on mutual understanding and support. He emphasized that his inner circle is privy to every aspect of his life, a level of transparency that was forged through shared experiences, particularly during periods of heavy drinking. This intimacy, he noted, involved a degree of respecting his own privacy by not being irresponsible with the dissemination of personal information. The implication is that past indiscretions were partly a result of a lack of self-respect, leading to the uncontrolled release of sensitive material. This journey toward greater honesty and self-acceptance has been central to Rashad's recent artistic output. By confronting his vulnerabilities and sharing his truth, he has created a body of work that resonates with a profound sense of authenticity, offering a model for navigating personal challenges with courage and candor.

The bottom line

• Isaiah Rashad's new album, 'It's Been Awful', is a deeply personal exploration of addiction, self-acceptance, and sexuality.
• The album's release follows a period of significant personal struggles, including drug use and a non-consensual sex tape leak.
• Rashad openly discusses his identity as a bisexual Black man and the challenges of navigating this in public.
• The music features a more contemplative and R&B-influenced soundscape, produced primarily by Keem the Cipher and Julian Sintonia.
• Despite not reaching the superstardom once anticipated, Rashad has evolved into a compelling artist focused on intuition and self-exploration.
• The rapper emphasizes the importance of honesty and vulnerability with himself and his close circle as key to his personal growth.